[well, at least they agree on something. next time he might even make enough for two. jiho lifts the cup to his lips, but can't help sputtering a little at the demon's comment.]
This...is what you call more clothing...
[YOU'RE STILL SCANDALOUS FROM THE WAIST DOWN, YOU KNOW.]
[why does this even bother him. why does rook alone seem to have the ability to get under jiho's skin. he doesn't know, it must have something to do with how they started off on the very wrong foot.]
[ Rook has no idea why he bothers you so much but he also isn't about to let such opportunities pass. he doesn't get much in the way of entertaining conversation and banter and this-- this is actually kind nice.
in a way.]
Mm I do![ he lights up at that, reaching into the folds of the blanket scarf to pull out-- what appears to be a bronze dagger with gemstones in it and something in an ancient language pressed into the blade.]
Here, found this and it made me think of you, it's bespelled to never miss if you throw it. And a few other things but I'm shit at untangling those kinda things so...
[ he shrugs like 'eh', figuring Jiho can find out the fun way what else it does.]
what are you thinking offering jiho a dagger that never misses. while standing right in front of him.
jiho just stares at him for a moment before slowly putting his cup of tea down.]
Where did you get this?
[it looks ancient, and expensive. jiho runs his fingers over the gemstones. the longer he looks at it, the more...something he is. he doesn't even want to stab rook with it to test out his claim.]
[ proving a point? taunting fate? he doesn't know.
when he doesn't take the blade right away, Rook starts to fidget a but but before he can start babbling about hell only knows what, Jiho is taking the weapon and looking at it in a way that the demon can only think of as fond.
good choice then.]
Ahh, honestly? Probably picked it up when someone tried to stab me with it in Persia but-- [ he shrugs, small amused smile on his lips as he toys with the scarf.] I have been collecting weird shit for... a really long time and this-- Dunno, thought you could use it. Pretty sure it never gets dull either...
[dry. but strangely enough jiho can imagine rook being more than a match for even a magical blade. he's slippery that way. maybe he oils up his body along with all that damn gold.
jiho actually snorts at that thought, and covers up his smile with a hand. he doesn't want the demon to get the wrong idea...or even worse, get the right one.]
Do you like honey in your tea or not?
[jiho turns away to get another cup, still clutching the dagger so tightly that his knuckles turn white.]
[ Rook laughs at that though, something low and amused because, well, it didn't miss it's mark. he is pretty sure he pulled it out from between his ribs where his heart is. so--
and while he won't make a comment about the laughter, he does note it. huh, Candy Crush does have emotions.]
Nah, it hit its mark. I'm just annoyingly difficult to kill like that.
[ be proud, he doesn't wink at you for that. he does , however, look a little startled at the offer for tea. ]
[of course it would be. to be a magical ninja, jiho is predictable.
he likes it that way. if people know what to expect of him, maybe they won't expect more. but there's something slow in his movements as he prepares a second cup, like he's more focused on his thoughts than his actions for a change.]
I like cardamon and cinnamon too.
[surprisingly sweet choices, keep that to your fucking self.]
[predictable or not, Rook takes note. you might find the cupboards stocked with some interesting and rare teas in the coming days, Jiho. mostly black tea too. strange, huh?
though he is a little surprised at the addition, hums as he hops to sit on the counter and watch the way the other makes tea.]
I have always liked cinnamon, it was so expensive back in the day, but totally worth it. There was a drink they used to make, in Iran, with cinnamon and cloves in this kind of wine. I should try to make it sometime, you might enjoy it.
[doesn't do much at all that might distract him, slow him down. which just happens to be most of the fun things in life.
it's fine. he doesn't need fun, wine, or even sex. what he needs is for everyone in this family to stay safe. he needs to not fail them the way he failed his first family. who else would he leave this to? myung? the human boy? he would hesitate even for neve, knowing that he understands him better than most. he also knows that he has someone who means the world to him, someone who feels the same.
jiho finishes making the tea and slides the cup over to rook without a word.]
Mmm it isn't very strong, the wine that is. I think the way it is boiled makes it less alcoholic.
[ not that he really feels much of a buzz either way with it. but he knows more than one being that avoids drinking. so-]
I wonder if grape juice would work. I should try it.
[ it is almost more to himself than to Jiho but-- well it is clear that he would make it for him. so that he was able to enjoy it. because you might say that you don't need those things, something other than death, but Rook knows better. sorry. ]
Thank you.
[ he mumbles it, but the smile on his face, though small, is loud. it isn't something crafted or enticing, but real. the demon wraps his fingers around the cup and hums in contentment. it smells delightful. warming.
maybe that is what prompts Rook to speak again as he stares into the liquid whle he clutches the tea, lopsided smile on his face.]
Have you ever had the hot cocoa from South America? The kind with peppers in it so it's warm and spicy?
[is jiho hinting that he wouldn't drink it anyway? quite possibly. it just feels like he's wasting rook's time, and there's better people in the house for him to shower with attention and gifts anyway.
he doesn't even mean to acknowledge the demon's thanks for the tea, but then he makes the mistake of glancing up at him, and rook seems some fucking pleased by some hot water and tea leaves, and it's kind of sweet and endearing in that way that makes jiho a little uncomfortable - not necessarily with rook, but uncomfortable in his own skin.]
...It's just tea. And I haven't been to South America.
[he goes to sit down at the table, prepared to let that be that. but there's more to his answer than he's letting on.
sigh. fuck.]
But there was this Mexican restaurant in Arizona. They served it, or something like it.
Mmm, wine is a kind of grape juice, isn't it? [ he gives a teasing smile before sipping on the tea.] Mmm, doesn't bother me either way, most alcohol does nothing for me, not that I was fond of it before either.
[ Jiho might think that Rook is wasting his time, but the demon thinks otherwise. or feels otherwise. most of the time, minus the first time with attempted murder, when he is around the assassin, he feels calm. content. not really at peace, but probably as close to it as he can get in his current state.
Rook likes a lot of people, especially in this house, they are more welcoming and over all good, but there are a few he likes more than others. much to Jiho's chagrin, he is one of them.
making a noise of dissent, the demon goes to argue how it is more than the tea. how Jiho bothered to prepare it for him at all but-- something stops him. instead he sighs and kicks his feet a little, watching as he goes to sit down.]
Mmm, they might have gotten it right. Maybe. [ another sip, Rook closing his eyes a little as he leans back on the counter, head against the cabinets.] Did you like it?
[shit, he shouldn't have asked. but the way rook made it sound, like maybe there was a time before when alcohol did do more for him, it was just strange enough to make jiho curious.
he still should've kept his curiosity to himself. one might think that the more jiho knows the people of this house, the more he likes them, the easier it becomes to do what he does. and that might actually be true. but it won't make it easier for them should the day ever come when he jiho doesn't come home.]
My brother was the one who ordered it. He hated it. [jiho remembers the real reason that he drank it, so his little brother wouldn't get in trouble. but then he was surprised.] I liked how warm it made me feel. A little bit like alcohol too, now that I think about it.
[ if Rook is surprised by the question, he doesn't show it. instead he keeps his eyes closed and hums a little, nostalgic almost.]
Before I was this, when I was human. [ a beat. he sips his tea before opening his eyes to look at Jiho, but it is clear he is thinking back more than he is seeing things now.] I don't remember a lot, bits and pieces. But I remember that alcohol was different and that I was never really fond of it. Didn't like how it dulled everything. Made it fuzzy.
[ how it made people forget things. or do things they didn't want because they couldn't think.
you know, like how his power worked now.
the demon shakes his head, clearing whatever lingering ghosts might still be in his vision before smiling again at Jiho.]
Mmm, it does make you warm. I have had it a few times, maybe I will bring some back next time. And their chocolate for Minsu, he would probably enjoy that, yeah?
[jiho's head jerks up at that, and this time, this time, he doesn't bother hiding his curiosity. it's something he didn't know, something he didn't even know was possible.]
Did you choose to become what you are now?
[sorry minsu, jiho isn't a big help in getting your chocolate right about now. more important things and all.]
[ Rook blinks a few times before he realizes that Jiho is actually interested, that he wants to know and isn't judging but rather just curious. it takes a moment for Rook to gather himself, uses the tea and another large sip of it to give him time but then--
he pulls his legs up, sits cross-legged on the counter with the tea in his lap and a smile on his face that is equal parts bitter and nostalgic.]
Yeah, I was human once. Before Rome even, I did see the rise and fall of Babylon, but I wasn't from there. Assyria actually, but-- [ a pause where he shakes his head before looking at Jiho with a shrug.]
Not important. But no, I didn't choose to become this. I made some mistakes, but I don't-- I don't remember what they were or why I made them, but in the end, being this? [ he gestures to himself, looking a little ridiculous wrapped in a scarf but, oh well. ] This is punishment for my sins. It isn't the worst punishment . [ he's lying, yes it is. for him at least. ] But it is what it is. At least I am not stuck pushing rocks up a hill for all eternity or something.
[jiho is probably the last one who'd judge, regardless of the story. he waits, actually turning his body in his chair so that he's facing rook more. like this conversation is deliberate.
it is. and that...that's progress.
it's still sinking in that rook was once human. yes, a long time ago, but still human. like his mother. like his younger brother. mortal. vulnerable. a target of some curse, maybe. a scorned lover. a jealous husband. it's easy to imagine that being the reason for what rook is now.
instead he talks about mistakes and punishment, things he can't even remember doing, so what's the fucking point to his punishment?]
And...you're the one who gets punished?
[jiho's incredulous - no, he's pissed.]
Who punished you? A god? [jiho scowls as he says the words, standing for his chair to circle around the table, ultimately coming to stand before the demon.] A god who lets wars happen. Who tears families apart and lets innocent people die. And you, who were probably a nobody in the grand scheme of things, who doesn't even make a good fucking demon anyway because you're too likable. You get punished.
[jiho snorts and shakes his head.]
I fucking hate everything. I hope I kill enough people to get this god's attention.
[ this-- shit, this is not at all what Rook expected in response to his explanation. granted, he isn't sure what he expected seeing as he hasn't really told that story to many people (if you can call it a story at all) because honestly, most people don't ask. he is either there to fuck someone, or he is sleeping. no time for history or caring.
so to see Jiho like thing, angry at the universe, makes something in him flicker to life. the demon cocks his head, eyes wide and focused on the assassin as he rants, slowly puts his tea down to the side and uncurls his legs. the instinct that he has is to comfort, to pull Jiho close and somehow calm him down, but he is still fairly sure that would just earn him more ire and perhaps that dagger in his gut.
instead, he nudges at Jiho's thigh with his foot.]
I don't-- I have met gods, many of them, and many devils too but I don't think that there is just one divine being handing out punishments to anyone. For me-- I think I angered a certain devil, or a sorcerer I can't remember, like I said. I probably was a nobody, still am when you think about it, but aren't we all in some sense? None of us matter beyond the impact we have on those around us, in the stories that might get told of us after.
[ another nudge with his foot. ] You keep killing and you won't get a god's attention, might get Amon's. Or Leviathan's. But not a god. I can help though, if you ever want it.
[ guess who is gonna laugh a little and smile as he swings his feet.] I mean, I am apparently likable, who knows maybe I can be of help. A distraction.
[why do words get stuck in his fucking throat. he thinks about the part where he called rook a nobody, how he might've taken it. how it might have made him feel.
he meant to say that rook didn't deserve this. that whatever he did or said, this wasn't the punishment that it should've been met with. rook isn't a bad person, he probably never was. jiho has seen enough of the really bad people to know. hell, he could probably recognize them on sight by now. he sees them on the streets, in his dreams, in the mirror.
and here is a bad person who jiho can't go after, because rook doesn't even remember who did it to him.
jiho sighs, raking a hand back through the pink strands. he needs to go, he needs to - he can't stay. rook is doing something to him, and he's not even fucking trying.
but that's before he says something that makes jiho look back at him again.]
You think I'm going to make bait out of your body? Is that what you're saying?
[ the demon doesn't take offense to being called a nobody; he has been alive long enough to know that he never truly had power and, even now, doesn't have power. it is almost comforting in its own right. he knows where he stands and doesn't need to worry beyond that. but the way that Jiho reacts is-- strange to him.
there is something curling just beneath the surface of the assassin's skin, not lust or desire not at all but-- it's something and Rook can almost see it. almost. and he is so focused on that, trying to figure this out (all of this because, he isn't stupid there is something going on here) that he doesn't see the flicker of-- annoyance? disgust? on his face.
blinking Rook shrugs.] That wasn't what I was saying at all, I mean I could do it if it would help you, I know I can be distracting and how to use my body in that way. Not to mention I am sure that no one around here has what it would take to kill me, but I meant it more so about my abilities. I can-- well I can make people overly focused on whatever they are lusting for. Cloud their awareness.
[it keeps getting worse. jiho doesn't understand why, but he doesn't want to hear the words that are coming out of rook's mouth. he thought it was simple annoyance. there's nothing worse than someone trying to get close to you when you don't want them to.
except, maybe, someone trying to get close to you when he do want them to.]
Stop. [jiho lifts his hands like he's going to cover his face or his ears, like maybe he has a headache. but they don't quite make it.] I don't want you coming with me. Stay where you always are, draped over the couch.
[ it is quiet but sincere. Rook is clearly still confused. a look on his face like he can't figure this out, like he has no idea where to even start. if he should bother. but he knows-- he knows that he doesn't like that Jiho looks upset. not even because it is his fault but just--
he doesn't want the other to be upset.
there is a lot of anger in him, Rook doesn't want to add to it.]
I won't come with you then. I just wanted you to know. [ a pause before, quietly: ] I'm already damned, Jiho, so if you think that helping you might make it worse-- you're wrong. I might not have a kill count, not in the traditional way but that doesn't make me a good person either. Fuck, I'm not even a person.
[this. this is the problem. because rook, who just woke up in their house one day, a demon, a creature of lust, there should be so many reasons why jiho doesn't like him.
but then he brings him gifts, and swings his legs like a child, and apologizes like he means it, when he doesn't have the first fucking thing to apologize for. when he has every right to tell jiho to get off his miniature pony sized high horse. and god, jiho wishes he would. it would make everything so much easier. someone like that, jiho could understand.
he huffs, and just lets his arms hang down at his sides. and then he stares at him for a moment.]
Don't ever say that again. [that he's damned, that he's not a person. everything in jiho resists that, without him having he slightest idea what to do next. maybe if he was different, normal, maybe he would.] You're...it's not...oh, goddammit it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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This...is what you call more clothing...
[YOU'RE STILL SCANDALOUS FROM THE WAIST DOWN, YOU KNOW.]
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Rook looks down then back up to Jiho, eyebrow raised.]
I mean I can take the pants off and make the blanket a toga if you really want but-- I mean more skin is covered than usual.
[ is he smirking? he's totally smirking. ]
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Didn't you have something you wanted to give me?
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in a way.]
Mm I do![ he lights up at that, reaching into the folds of the blanket scarf to pull out-- what appears to be a bronze dagger with gemstones in it and something in an ancient language pressed into the blade.]
Here, found this and it made me think of you, it's bespelled to never miss if you throw it. And a few other things but I'm shit at untangling those kinda things so...
[ he shrugs like 'eh', figuring Jiho can find out the fun way what else it does.]
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rook, honey.
what are you thinking offering jiho a dagger that never misses. while standing right in front of him.
jiho just stares at him for a moment before slowly putting his cup of tea down.]
Where did you get this?
[it looks ancient, and expensive. jiho runs his fingers over the gemstones. the longer he looks at it, the more...something he is. he doesn't even want to stab rook with it to test out his claim.]
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when he doesn't take the blade right away, Rook starts to fidget a but but before he can start babbling about hell only knows what, Jiho is taking the weapon and looking at it in a way that the demon can only think of as fond.
good choice then.]
Ahh, honestly? Probably picked it up when someone tried to stab me with it in Persia but-- [ he shrugs, small amused smile on his lips as he toys with the scarf.] I have been collecting weird shit for... a really long time and this-- Dunno, thought you could use it. Pretty sure it never gets dull either...
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[dry. but strangely enough jiho can imagine rook being more than a match for even a magical blade. he's slippery that way. maybe he oils up his body along with all that damn gold.
jiho actually snorts at that thought, and covers up his smile with a hand. he doesn't want the demon to get the wrong idea...or even worse, get the right one.]
Do you like honey in your tea or not?
[jiho turns away to get another cup, still clutching the dagger so tightly that his knuckles turn white.]
no subject
and while he won't make a comment about the laughter, he does note it. huh, Candy Crush does have emotions.]
Nah, it hit its mark. I'm just annoyingly difficult to kill like that.
[ be proud, he doesn't wink at you for that. he does , however, look a little startled at the offer for tea. ]
Uh... depends on the tea actually.
[ a beat while he watches, quiet.]
What's your favourite tea?
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[of course it would be. to be a magical ninja, jiho is predictable.
he likes it that way. if people know what to expect of him, maybe they won't expect more. but there's something slow in his movements as he prepares a second cup, like he's more focused on his thoughts than his actions for a change.]
I like cardamon and cinnamon too.
[surprisingly sweet choices, keep that to your fucking self.]
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though he is a little surprised at the addition, hums as he hops to sit on the counter and watch the way the other makes tea.]
I have always liked cinnamon, it was so expensive back in the day, but totally worth it. There was a drink they used to make, in Iran, with cinnamon and cloves in this kind of wine. I should try to make it sometime, you might enjoy it.
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[doesn't do much at all that might distract him, slow him down. which just happens to be most of the fun things in life.
it's fine. he doesn't need fun, wine, or even sex. what he needs is for everyone in this family to stay safe. he needs to not fail them the way he failed his first family. who else would he leave this to? myung? the human boy? he would hesitate even for neve, knowing that he understands him better than most. he also knows that he has someone who means the world to him, someone who feels the same.
jiho finishes making the tea and slides the cup over to rook without a word.]
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[ not that he really feels much of a buzz either way with it. but he knows more than one being that avoids drinking. so-]
I wonder if grape juice would work. I should try it.
[ it is almost more to himself than to Jiho but-- well it is clear that he would make it for him. so that he was able to enjoy it. because you might say that you don't need those things, something other than death, but Rook knows better. sorry. ]
Thank you.
[ he mumbles it, but the smile on his face, though small, is loud. it isn't something crafted or enticing, but real. the demon wraps his fingers around the cup and hums in contentment. it smells delightful. warming.
maybe that is what prompts Rook to speak again as he stares into the liquid whle he clutches the tea, lopsided smile on his face.]
Have you ever had the hot cocoa from South America? The kind with peppers in it so it's warm and spicy?
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[is jiho hinting that he wouldn't drink it anyway? quite possibly. it just feels like he's wasting rook's time, and there's better people in the house for him to shower with attention and gifts anyway.
he doesn't even mean to acknowledge the demon's thanks for the tea, but then he makes the mistake of glancing up at him, and rook seems some fucking pleased by some hot water and tea leaves, and it's kind of sweet and endearing in that way that makes jiho a little uncomfortable - not necessarily with rook, but uncomfortable in his own skin.]
...It's just tea. And I haven't been to South America.
[he goes to sit down at the table, prepared to let that be that. but there's more to his answer than he's letting on.
sigh. fuck.]
But there was this Mexican restaurant in Arizona. They served it, or something like it.
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[ Jiho might think that Rook is wasting his time, but the demon thinks otherwise. or feels otherwise. most of the time, minus the first time with attempted murder, when he is around the assassin, he feels calm. content. not really at peace, but probably as close to it as he can get in his current state.
Rook likes a lot of people, especially in this house, they are more welcoming and over all good, but there are a few he likes more than others. much to Jiho's chagrin, he is one of them.
making a noise of dissent, the demon goes to argue how it is more than the tea. how Jiho bothered to prepare it for him at all but-- something stops him. instead he sighs and kicks his feet a little, watching as he goes to sit down.]
Mmm, they might have gotten it right. Maybe. [ another sip, Rook closing his eyes a little as he leans back on the counter, head against the cabinets.] Did you like it?
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[shit, he shouldn't have asked. but the way rook made it sound, like maybe there was a time before when alcohol did do more for him, it was just strange enough to make jiho curious.
he still should've kept his curiosity to himself. one might think that the more jiho knows the people of this house, the more he likes them, the easier it becomes to do what he does. and that might actually be true. but it won't make it easier for them should the day ever come when he jiho doesn't come home.]
My brother was the one who ordered it. He hated it. [jiho remembers the real reason that he drank it, so his little brother wouldn't get in trouble. but then he was surprised.] I liked how warm it made me feel. A little bit like alcohol too, now that I think about it.
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Before I was this, when I was human. [ a beat. he sips his tea before opening his eyes to look at Jiho, but it is clear he is thinking back more than he is seeing things now.] I don't remember a lot, bits and pieces. But I remember that alcohol was different and that I was never really fond of it. Didn't like how it dulled everything. Made it fuzzy.
[ how it made people forget things. or do things they didn't want because they couldn't think.
you know, like how his power worked now.
the demon shakes his head, clearing whatever lingering ghosts might still be in his vision before smiling again at Jiho.]
Mmm, it does make you warm. I have had it a few times, maybe I will bring some back next time. And their chocolate for Minsu, he would probably enjoy that, yeah?
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[jiho's head jerks up at that, and this time, this time, he doesn't bother hiding his curiosity. it's something he didn't know, something he didn't even know was possible.]
Did you choose to become what you are now?
[sorry minsu, jiho isn't a big help in getting your chocolate right about now. more important things and all.]
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he pulls his legs up, sits cross-legged on the counter with the tea in his lap and a smile on his face that is equal parts bitter and nostalgic.]
Yeah, I was human once. Before Rome even, I did see the rise and fall of Babylon, but I wasn't from there. Assyria actually, but-- [ a pause where he shakes his head before looking at Jiho with a shrug.]
Not important. But no, I didn't choose to become this. I made some mistakes, but I don't-- I don't remember what they were or why I made them, but in the end, being this? [ he gestures to himself, looking a little ridiculous wrapped in a scarf but, oh well. ] This is punishment for my sins. It isn't the worst punishment . [ he's lying, yes it is. for him at least. ] But it is what it is. At least I am not stuck pushing rocks up a hill for all eternity or something.
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it is. and that...that's progress.
it's still sinking in that rook was once human. yes, a long time ago, but still human. like his mother. like his younger brother. mortal. vulnerable. a target of some curse, maybe. a scorned lover. a jealous husband. it's easy to imagine that being the reason for what rook is now.
instead he talks about mistakes and punishment, things he can't even remember doing, so what's the fucking point to his punishment?]
And...you're the one who gets punished?
[jiho's incredulous - no, he's pissed.]
Who punished you? A god? [jiho scowls as he says the words, standing for his chair to circle around the table, ultimately coming to stand before the demon.] A god who lets wars happen. Who tears families apart and lets innocent people die. And you, who were probably a nobody in the grand scheme of things, who doesn't even make a good fucking demon anyway because you're too likable. You get punished.
[jiho snorts and shakes his head.]
I fucking hate everything. I hope I kill enough people to get this god's attention.
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so to see Jiho like thing, angry at the universe, makes something in him flicker to life. the demon cocks his head, eyes wide and focused on the assassin as he rants, slowly puts his tea down to the side and uncurls his legs. the instinct that he has is to comfort, to pull Jiho close and somehow calm him down, but he is still fairly sure that would just earn him more ire and perhaps that dagger in his gut.
instead, he nudges at Jiho's thigh with his foot.]
I don't-- I have met gods, many of them, and many devils too but I don't think that there is just one divine being handing out punishments to anyone. For me-- I think I angered a certain devil, or a sorcerer I can't remember, like I said. I probably was a nobody, still am when you think about it, but aren't we all in some sense? None of us matter beyond the impact we have on those around us, in the stories that might get told of us after.
[ another nudge with his foot. ] You keep killing and you won't get a god's attention, might get Amon's. Or Leviathan's. But not a god. I can help though, if you ever want it.
[ guess who is gonna laugh a little and smile as he swings his feet.] I mean, I am apparently likable, who knows maybe I can be of help. A distraction.
[ is he ever gonna let that go? nope. ]
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[why do words get stuck in his fucking throat. he thinks about the part where he called rook a nobody, how he might've taken it. how it might have made him feel.
he meant to say that rook didn't deserve this. that whatever he did or said, this wasn't the punishment that it should've been met with. rook isn't a bad person, he probably never was. jiho has seen enough of the really bad people to know. hell, he could probably recognize them on sight by now. he sees them on the streets, in his dreams, in the mirror.
and here is a bad person who jiho can't go after, because rook doesn't even remember who did it to him.
jiho sighs, raking a hand back through the pink strands. he needs to go, he needs to - he can't stay. rook is doing something to him, and he's not even fucking trying.
but that's before he says something that makes jiho look back at him again.]
You think I'm going to make bait out of your body? Is that what you're saying?
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there is something curling just beneath the surface of the assassin's skin, not lust or desire not at all but-- it's something and Rook can almost see it. almost. and he is so focused on that, trying to figure this out (all of this because, he isn't stupid there is something going on here) that he doesn't see the flicker of-- annoyance? disgust? on his face.
blinking Rook shrugs.] That wasn't what I was saying at all, I mean I could do it if it would help you, I know I can be distracting and how to use my body in that way. Not to mention I am sure that no one around here has what it would take to kill me, but I meant it more so about my abilities. I can-- well I can make people overly focused on whatever they are lusting for. Cloud their awareness.
no subject
except, maybe, someone trying to get close to you when he do want them to.]
Stop. [jiho lifts his hands like he's going to cover his face or his ears, like maybe he has a headache. but they don't quite make it.] I don't want you coming with me. Stay where you always are, draped over the couch.
[safe.]
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[ it is quiet but sincere. Rook is clearly still confused. a look on his face like he can't figure this out, like he has no idea where to even start. if he should bother. but he knows-- he knows that he doesn't like that Jiho looks upset. not even because it is his fault but just--
he doesn't want the other to be upset.
there is a lot of anger in him, Rook doesn't want to add to it.]
I won't come with you then. I just wanted you to know. [ a pause before, quietly: ] I'm already damned, Jiho, so if you think that helping you might make it worse-- you're wrong. I might not have a kill count, not in the traditional way but that doesn't make me a good person either. Fuck, I'm not even a person.
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but then he brings him gifts, and swings his legs like a child, and apologizes like he means it, when he doesn't have the first fucking thing to apologize for. when he has every right to tell jiho to get off his miniature pony sized high horse. and god, jiho wishes he would. it would make everything so much easier. someone like that, jiho could understand.
he huffs, and just lets his arms hang down at his sides. and then he stares at him for a moment.]
Don't ever say that again. [that he's damned, that he's not a person. everything in jiho resists that, without him having he slightest idea what to do next. maybe if he was different, normal, maybe he would.] You're...it's not...oh, goddammit it.
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